Friday, May 20, 2011

Totally Pointless

I have this stupid sleep study tonight. I really don't want to do it. I see this a an enormous waste of my time. Theoretically, I have insomnia. I don't think that's really what it is, though. I think my problem is that I am not able to sleep according to my body's natural circadian rythm. I just call it insomnia because that's easier for people to understand, and because that's what a Dr told me I had. The hours that my body wants to sleep are simply not conducive to my life right now. However, my hubby is convinced there is some cure for me.

This sleep study isn't even about my alleged insomnia. It's about my possible sleep apnea. I don't doubt that I have sleep apnea. It is  a very real possibility. It doesn't really matter, though. I won't wear one of those stupid masks to sleep. I wouldn't be able to fall asleep with something on my face. If I do have sleep apnea, it is caused by the excess weight I have put on over the last 8 years, which I'm already trying to lose.

I'm only doing this for my hubby, I know he wants me to do this sleep study. He has wanted it for a long time. He thinks they'll find some cure for my "insomnia," though I'm not sure why. So, even though I know this will be a colossal waste of time, I'm going through with it.

I generally am incappable of falling asleep in places that I am not comfortable with. I was in the hospital for over a month when I had Jay, and I think the only time I really slept was after he was born (so, during week 5 of my stay), and that was because of the morphine they gave me. The rest of the time, I was only able to doze a few minutes at a time. So, I'm doing everything I can to give this the best shot at working. I don't think caffiene really does anything for me (a glass of oj wakes me up, but a can of Mt Dew or cup of coffee don't), but I'm not drinking any caffiene today (so they can't tell me that my caffiene consumption is the cause of my sleeping problems). I got less sleep than normal last night, so I'd be a bit extra tired today. I plan on working out around lunch time, because that theoretically helps you sleep (plus, my workouts are usually at night, so I'd miss my workout for today if I didn't do it earlier in the day). They prescribed sleeping pills for me, to help me fall asleep tonight, too. Hopefully, all this will help me fall asleep tonight.