Saturday, January 12, 2013

He's a Ninja, That's How

We have a 3-season porch. Well, it's actually more of a 2-season porch, because in the winter it's too damn cold to be out there, and in the summer it's way too hot. During the winter, mice like to hang out in the porch, because it's warmer than outside (by a degree or two), there's no wind, and it's one of the few places in the house where the cats can't get them. They come in through the mail slot. Anyway, our cats always want to get out there, because they smell the mice. We keep the door to the porch locked, though. The porch is where I keep all the Art supplies, as well as some of my personal stuff I don't want the kids getting into.

The kitten has always had a thing with the door to the porch. He has tried everything to get out there. He tried tunneling under the door. He tried going through the door. He tries to run out there every single time someone opens the door. He has even tried opening the door. That door has one of those long handles, not a round knob. So, he will get on the table next to the door and stretch until he has his front paws on the door handle. He then puts as much of his weight on it as he can. I've also seen him stand on his back legs, reach up with his front paws to grab the handle from below, and try to pull it down. This is just one more reason to keep it locked.

A few weeks ago, the door was unlocked. I don't remember why I left it unlocked. I went into the kitchen for a few minutes. When I came back, the door was open & the kitten was out in the porch.

You know that scene from Jurassic Park where the Velociraptor figures out how to open the door so she can get to the kids who have shut themselves in the kitchen? I'm pretty sure that is what happened, except it was my cat, not a dinosaur.

Yesterday, he turned off the light & turned on the fan, at the same time.

He is obsessed with the chain that hangs from the ceiling fan/light.He is always trying to grab it. He will jump up on your back & try to reach it.

I was in the office, talking to Jay, with my back to the living room. Then, I heard the sound of the chain being pulled & the living room light went out. I turned to see what was going on, figuring the light blew (they do that a lot here). I saw the kitten on the table, the chain was swinging wildly, the fan was on, and the light was off. He just sat there looking at me with a look that said "Ha, Ha! You shall never know how I do these things, you mere human, you."

I know how he does them, though. He is a ninja! He always does it when you aren't expecting it. He always does it when you can't see him. He is trying to keep us off-balance. He turns lights & fans on & off and opens doors! These are not normal cat behaviors. He is a ninja. Either that or he is a wizard. Maybe he is a wizard disguising himself as a cat. Or, he could be a shapeshifter. Damn. Maybe he was right. I will never know how he does it.